What is it to raise a child with #specialneeds (PART 3)
The first time I switched breast milk with top feed at 6 months, he burst into blotches. Then on, random foods & brands caused reactions.
What did that mean as a parent?
The first year it meant pumping non-stop. Sleep Deprivation managing a #colic baby. Never-ending hospital visits.
Spending so many hours planning, yet always feeling underprepared.
The jibes and judgment of people who didn’t understand – neither the condition nor my concerns.
I was always doing too much or too little!
With time #allergies went away, the sensitivities stayed. Meals take hours. Getting the right shoes and clothes is a pain. His needs are peculiar – enough to catch everyone’s grudging attention.
Parenting has no right answers. What seems like mollycoddling to one person could be being supportive to another!
It took me years to understand that his struggles were because of sensoryprocessingdisorder.
To understand that he was not simply being a #pickyeater, or #difficult for the sake of being difficult.
By then, both of us had been blamed for so much we had such little control on.
I have often struggled with this:
How does one judge whether the accommodations you provide are #scaffolding or crutches?
Scaffolds help build independence. Crutches can create dependencies.
I drew #boundaries. I decided to choose for myself and provide support while reducing the accommodation.
Food is still a difficult subject in my home.
Crocs and comfortable #trackpants are what you will find him wearing on most days.
This is what I’d like you to know:
- Trust that an #anxious parent has fair reason.
- Be Kind. Be empathetic.
- If your child is struggling, don’t beat yourself. Get help.
Be willing to try new things, but always trust YOUR CHILD when they say, “it’s too much, it’s too hard.”