My first salary was ₹6,000. Mumbai. 2005
How does one live in this city on that income? 
Simple. You don’t. My family was supportive; they covered my expenses as they had previously. Spoilt as I was, I never thought I had to live within my means. 

At Rishikesh, in 2006 — During the shoot for Paisa Bhaari Padega (the irony of the title is not lost on me)

I was a hard worker. Also, an idealistic hard worker. My pay increased.  Mid third project, I got an offer, double my salary. But no, I didn’t take it. I was too loyal to my team, Siddharth and Karishma.
I valued loyalty over money.  And I was told that was a ‘sign of integrity.’

I was in Kerala, taking a break.
Another offer. ₹45K + a great television role. That is when my parents told me about how the school was growing, and I had to help them with it. I was an emotional sucker; I gave up the role I was super excited about. You can’t just work in a school, you know. You need a degree in education 🙂

So, came a full-time B.Ed.
Then marriage.
By 2008, instead of making ₹45K, I was on a ₹10K teacher’s salary—three years behind my peers.

And now married, I was responsible for running a household.
Reality hit hard: I had zero financial training.

To catch up and to cover bills, I switched back to advertising. I was promised the job and a raise in three months, depending on my performance.

That’s when I realised I was pregnant. I called the employer and asked if he would like to withdraw the offer. He didn’t. I joined work. I felt grateful. The raise that was promised in three months never came despite exceeding expectations. After all, ‘we gave an expecting mother a job’. 

Gratitude was another sign of integrity. 

Motherhood slowed my climb, but that’s how the world is. In 2011, I got another offer – a role that tied together two of my interests – Education and Marcomm. ‘But we are an institution, we can’t pay you what you make’, I was told. I could negotiate harder and ask for more, but that was not covered in my 18 years of education.

My dad told me, “Take the job, money does not matter.” We moved into my father’s house to ‘save on rent’. My dad did not know that I had moved there so as not to get thrown out of the house in the middle of the night, even though I was the one paying the rent. After all, the paperwork was in the name of the ‘Man of the house’ – my abusive ex-husband.

With time in that abusive marriage, safety became more urgent than salary. 

My salary was corrected only in 2014, when they hired a man under me. What bothered me over and over again was that my boss was a woman who could have acted on my needs and efforts and paid me better for the demands that were being made of me. 

I could not ask for more when I was already taking half days off to go to court or care for my son as a single parent. Even if that was paid leave, my Christian Guilt, the training that you always give back more than you receive, and the years of being told ‘I didn’t get anything right’ stopped me. How could I deserve more?

But what stopped my Boss, known for her fierceness, from doing what was right by me, for me? When I left, they had to hire three people to do my job.
Today, that feels like a point of shame, not pride. They had the budget for it, after all. 🙂

As women, we’re taught not to ask. To understand, to adjust, to comply. A partner in one of the Big Four has still not disclosed his earnings and liabilities to his wife. It’s not her business. Education & exposure aren’t enough to fight patriarchy and entitlement. 

Finally, by losing a husband, I was forced to man up and learn how to manage bills, take a loan, buy a home and a car, fight legal battles and do a lot of things that our culture considers a man’s job.
Men make the decisions, what house to rent, when to take a loan, how much to spend.

Even today, if I ask my brother about finances, I might hear:
“Why are you worried? We’re taking care of it.”

In the guise of care, we do our girls a disservice.

It’s taken years of careful slicing to build a safety net, while giving my kids the life they deserve. One thing that’s helped is a partner who understands and respects my journey. We have helped each other build our financial independence.

Because here’s the truth:

• The world is not fair. Rare are bosses who pay you what you deserve!
• Bad things will happen. Jobs vanish. Health falters.
• Money is not everything, but it helps you choose better. It gives you the freedom of choice!

Don’t wait to be forced into financial literacy.
Don’t make sub-optimal decisions because you don’t understand money. A good marriage or a supportive family is no excuse to stay financially unaware.

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Know your worth, or others will define it for you. 

Take the time. Take the risks.
Build your financial independence.
Start small. Start wherever.
But start today.

P.S.
This is for women who are still finding their feet with money.
If your journey has looked different—if you’ve found freedom—share it.
Your story might be the reason someone else starts.

We rise by passing it on.