Partners before Parents

baby couple expecting

My younger one must be given two doses of Budecort every day. Two puffs each time. 
He has stopped fighting it now. He curls up in my arms and I press the huff puff kit to his face and after one puff, count till 20, making it as comical as possible, the funniest noises I can think of. He stares at me through it all and when it’s done, we clap in joy, him and me like we just beat the world in a race. 

My older one can never finish a task without a hundred reminders. Meals or school work, every bite, every word needs a push, a scream and a yell. 
Books he will devour, but anything else, he is a lost cause. We have to remember to keep a check, ask him a hundred things a hundred times, constantly keep in our heads a list of things that need to be done. 

Sometimes it’s fun, sometimes it’s pain in every inch of your body.  

Parenting is all about consistency. 
It is about doing the same thing over and over and over again, day after day. 
The same questions, have you packed your bag? Do you have class today? Are you wearing underwear? Have you flushed? Have you washed your hands? Have you put your shoes away? 
And shit, how much shit can be part of a human life. Literally?!

Parents deserve a trophy at the end of every single night for simply having survived another day. Even in the sameness of it all, there is a new lesson, a new challenge, a new possibility EVERY SINGLE DAY. 

Your partners are your sanity keepers, your co-conspirators, your accessories and accomplices in your everyday. 
If not on the same page, they can drive you mad and make your life miserable alongside your children.

Which is why I cringe when people decide to make babies thinking it will solve their problems. 
Especially their marriage.

How do I say this? Babies complicate lives. And kids are manipulative monsters that can out think you, out wit you and definitely bring out your worst. Parenting needs equal partnership. Even if one takes the larger load in the details, you still need a combined strategy, a well-sketched out balanced process to beat the kids in their own games. 

So if you can’t sort issues with your partner now, don’t even think the cute little thing will do it for you. From the brand of the pampers you choose, to the kind of school you want, breastfeed or topfeed, weaning or solids…you are just adding a hundred more reasons to argue about. 

Do us a favor.
Sort your issues. 
Work on your problems and your marriage before you attempt children. 
Make babies only when you are sure you have got each other’s backs as they turn you into exhausted, inconsistent, ever failing, maniacs who can’t get their shit together. 

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