Small stones, Big ripples


No one wakes up one day and finds themselves on the wrong side of the fence. 
Unlike what we’d like to imagine, large problems don’t appear suddenly. 
Even calamities. 
They build up slowly…over a period of time. One step at a time. 

What am I talking about? 

Every issue that has become too big to handle for you today. 
Lying. 
Stealing. 
Alcoholism. 
Drugs. 
Misogyny.
Abuse — physical, verbal, mental, sexual, emotional or financial.  

Each and every one of them started small.   

They might be giving you sleepless nights now, but when they started they were something you could have swatted down like a mosquito or a fly that was buzzing around your ear. 
Unfortunately, it didn’t seem as important then. 
It didn’t seem worth the argument, the confrontation. 
The awkward communication. 
The questions, the discomfort. 

You let it go. So it went unchecked. 
Slightly different the next time. You ignored it again. And yet again. Still not worth a showdown or a conflict. Unquestioned. Ignored. Put aside. It went on. And each time it grew slightly bigger. While you were pushing it to the back of your mind, for sometime later, it grew minutely bigger. 

And now it can’t be pushed any further. You can’t take it any longer. 
And you are stuck with a pill, you cannot spit or swallow. 
The fangs are out and though you knew all along, you stand unprepared.
Unsure how to carry it forward. 

And if it hasn’t yet gotten there, let me tell you it will. 
Because no one wakes up one day and finds themselves on the wrong side of the fence. 

Watch the small steps. 
The ones where they slowly nudge the boundaries, test waters, and see how you will react. 
Respond if you do not want to react. 
Kindly if need be. Consciously. 
Let them know you are watching. You are not okay. 
Define your boundaries. 
Be firm when you have to. 
Claim your space if you have to.
As a parent, as a spouse, as a sibling, as a colleague, as a friend, as an employee stand your ground. 
Because no one wakes up one day and finds themselves on the wrong side of the fence. 

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