They are burying you right now. You are no more.
We are not there beside the multitude that must have gathered to say goodbye to ‘a spirited, larger than life person who lived life at his terms and conditions and left to God at such a young age’.
We are not there.
You know why.
I know why.
Obituaries are countless and though I managed to erase every link between you, you are on my newsfeed. As though I need a reminder of who you were, of the life you lived and what you have left behind. How can one forget the person they have loved with every cell of their body only to be left with tears, over and over again?
The man who your son calls his father when asked?
The person who has etched a mark so deep, you can’t seem to erase it no matter how hard you try. Some even call it a scar.
The thing about about obituaries is they are meant to say good things about you. And the thing about death is it rings with regrets. You lived a life that every person only dreams of – a life for yourself. You were able to separate the chaff and the clutter and keep only what was important to you. A trait I wish to learn from you.
And regrets, those are for the ones you have left behind.
You asked me once if I preferred to be a divorcee to a widow. I said I did. I still do. But I mourn you today. Cos in you my life was so entangled, a part of it died today.
Goodbye Biju…May you find the peace in the afterlife that you failed to find on earth.