You are changed forever.
Let me sort that for you, right at the beginning, in case there exists some confusion.
The YOU as it was, IS NOT coming back either!
People tell you give it 6 months and everything will be back to normal.
I say BULL*#$@!
Having a baby either leaves you feeling like a super-woman having pushed that 3 kilo ball out of you;
Or you feel like a survivor having come through Post-Partum Depression, Eclampsia, diastasis recti & the very many things that simply went wrong* *(the more you research, the more you will wonder how the population is what it is)!
Or you may be elated at having the perfect delivery…
Or a part of you is left with questions and doubts – Why you can’t feed your baby right? Why the C-Section or suction-delivery? Why won’t the baby shut up or why do you feel like shit? Weeks may go by, but the questions they may be here to stay.
Even when the hair, skin, the pelvis, all go back to being sorted, the physical you, it still won’t feel the same.
Did you know that pregnant women lose brain matter? A study published in the journal Nature Neuroscience says so and according to Hoekzema, the co-lead author, it isn’t even a bad thing. It is simply the “fine-tuning of synapses into more efficient neural networks.”
|Mom life has fired some circuits and the babies have changed some wiring inside.|
Here I am wondering if I am showing symptoms of dementia or Alzheimer’s and Neuroscientist Robert Froemeke compares the brain loss to spring cleaning! Yeah right!
How can there be any other logical explanation to the kind of forgetfulness that follows pregnancy?
The inability to catch the words that were so a part of you, and the wasteful hours looking for stuff that you know you kept in a specific space simply so you would not waste time looking for it in the first place… Pregnancy brains and Momnesia are really a thing!
The emotional you, boy thats another story all together.
The hormones, they have screwed you over.
Everything will move you…the squirrel on the branch next to your window, the stupid ad film that you know was made to make you sob, the unexpected guest –
It is like being on your period, FOREVER.
A part of us may want to be the same, the us before it all changed.
I know I did.
And we may fight the dark forces working against us and touch the numbers we want to – on the scale, the clothes and the passbook.
We may even train ourselves to juggle it all – the hours, the emotions and the roles.
But I have realised that there is no going back.
Date nights and dinners will forever involve constant peeks at the phone. Movies and restaurants will be decided on kid-friendly zones. Desserts will be saved for later when the kids get home and pizza will be made in parts plus minus the olives. Priorities have changed. Work and workout take a backseat according to the schedules of the nanny and
sex is scheduled around colds and sniffles.
If I could look at the one thing that has changed me inside out, I would blame my pregnancies. Mom life has fired some circuits and the babies have changed some wiring inside.
After all what can explain how every mom is universally correct, knows better, can fix all the boo-boos, works faster and better than all her male counterparts and simply has all the correct answers.
It MUST HAVE TO DO with the synaptic connection and neural networks that misfired in the baby making process!