You have walked away…but it’s taken longer than it should have!
Whether it has been the murky end; or the bitter aftertaste of that debilitating relationship, I know how desperately you want it all done with.
To be able to move on. Simply move on.
“Ha! If only it was so easy!”
I see, you are already SO tired, exhausted with it all.
The daily reminders of what it was! What it could have been… Either being blamed for the things that have gone wrong, or the guilt of walking away.
Oh the guilt!
I know, it has not been easy for you. I won’t lie. It might take a while before the dark cloud lifts, but it will.
You have survived.
I see your struggles. I know how overwhelming it all feels. The fear of being alone or the pressure to not fail, yet again.
Some carry deep scars from the past. Others carry the responsibility of a child.
How does one not sink under it, you wonder. You won’t. You are stronger than you know.
And YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I hope you remember that I have been there, and so many more like me.
You are not alone.
When I see you judge yourself. Again and again. Wondering if you could get things right. Even when it was not you who made any mistakes!
I understand the need to quickly find solace in another. Why would you want to shame yourself for it? Why should you allow anyone to shame you for it? Wanting to be loved, is there anything one can need more?!
I write to tell you to know IT IS OKAY to have made a few bad choices. And it is perfectly alright to make some more.
And if you can, please do pause and celebrate where you are right now. Who you are right now.
But you did!
I wish you would look in the mirror. I wish you would fall in love with the person looking back at you. She has grown. She may be fragile, but she is not broken. She may not be perfect, but her scars, they make her. I wish you would see what I see. I wish you would love who she has become. I wish you would remember that SHE IS HERE.
That YOU ARE HERE!