The Queen Bee

I define the mood in my home. If I am chirpy so is everyone at home. And when the devil in me is raging, one by one, the home turns hell. 

Everything centres around my emotions or how well I am holding up. 

Moms hold the fort emotionally in most homes!

The world would be a different place if ‘Mental Health’ was more talked about, if you and I could afford and access therapy, get better support systems and shout down the criticism and negativity around us. 

Unfortunately, it isn’t. And the pressure, IT ONLY KEEPS BUILDING UP. 

In most home I know, moms hold the fort emotionally. 

Yet in the daily demands of home, career, children, spouse, and the household help, the only one we choose to neglect is ourselves. 
Everyone and everything else on the list is non-negotiable. EXCEPT US.  

It begins to chip away – emotionally, mentally and physically.  We catch ourselves snapping at silly things, overwhelmed, gullible. Trying hard to be okay, even when we know something is amiss. And then the guilt takes over, the ‘I wish I was better’ conversations start playing in the head…

If it was ‘Sex and The City‘, our girlfriends would magically fly us to a surprise destination, pamper us to death and we would come back feeling like we could conquer the world.
It isn’t!
You and I have to fix schedules around our baby’s nap times, kids music lessons, football classes, school meetings, and the nanny’s arrival and departure… So what are doable things to feel sane enough to take on the world day in and day out without breaking down or breaking everyone apart. 

Sleep in: Everyone needs a day to sleep in through the alarm. Everyone needs to know that everything will be alright even when they do. Get that day once a week. 

Take those walks: The polluted air doesn’t really help, but simply taking a different view and possibly running into some familiar faces helps. Something about adrenaline too!

Break the routine: Structured days are great for kids, but monotony kills creativity. Find a little something different to do. Eat something unusual. Read. Colour. Nap. Netflix. Coffee shop. Find something you don’t usually do. 

Meet that friend. We all have a friend we could call or connect with, bitch about the world and laugh our blues away. If you don’t have one, make one. See a friendly face. Women carry women. 

Get away from the kids: If you are the primary caregiver, get some time away from them. Ask your partner to step in. Get some adult time and adult company. We know you need it. 

Find your thing: For me it is being ‘Hangry’. Feed me and I’m better. My hubby needs quiet time. Ten mins of silence can do magic to his mood. Whatever works, if it’s chocolate, shopping, screen time, food or fruit, or a hobby – find the key to calm you down. 

Breathe In. Breathe Out: Change your focus. Choose Happiness. Let the small things go. 

But above all stop blaming yourself for feeling weighed down and overwhelmed? Ask your self – who else can play the role of a manager, health expert, subject matter expert, nutritionist, stain expert, accountant, stock keeper, item locator, scheduler, entertainer and possibly an employee, as well as you do?

So ease out on to the couch and accept your role as the Queen of the home and get the bees to work for you. After all, only if you imagine it, will it actually become possible. 

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