This is all I need, I could not have asked for more.
My boys they bring me so much joy.
They drive me equally mad.
Wrapped in their lives, wrapped in their questions,
their antics, my day, my life could simply go by.
The baby’s giggle or his smile at the sight of me,
his little voice calling out for me or my boy’s voice at the break of morn
“May i have my dessert, now? I did not get any last night!”
The lover’s hold, our walks together, the conversations, the secret jokes
a happy place to spend my entire life through
it could take me through the darkest days.
Somedays all you need is four people by your grave.
People whom you have touched, truly.
Somedays you hope you leave behind a memory.
The scores that thronged my grandmother’s grave,
Is that the true definition of a memorable life?
Somedays, I wonder, I itch, I crave.
I know this cannot be it. This cannot be all.
What about something for me?
What about changing the world?
What about the big dreams and aspirations?
Somedays it is a job I want. Somedays it is a career.
Most days it is neither.
It is a purpose.
A purpose beyond me, beyond us.
A need to shake things up.
A desire to have etched a mark.
Somedays it is the father’s dream,
the thousands of lives he changed brick by brick,
Somedays it is the grey-haired woman and her disruptive voice,
the need to break things apart, deconstruct and create
their quests, their vision, their truth they tear me apart
what will you build, what will you leave behind?
Somedays I wrestle with my thoughts, I question,
feel tied now by my lack of depth and ambition,
I reel in anger at my complacency.
Somedays i tell myself, hold, breathe
appreciate what you have,
this moment, this now is never coming back.
Split in the middle, is this a woman’s life?
or is it where we all are, no matter our gender.
lost in the same olds’, afraid to leap through.
A step, a skip, a hop, not too far from where we began.
Defined by words and roles, not truly knowing who we are,
Craving for more, sometimes wishing for nothing.