When I started writing, I was distraught, livid. And as the year ended, it seemed to bring just more despair. 2014 was filled with many milestones for me, I was constantly surprised at how far I had come. Small leaps took me forward but through it all I constantly felt like I was being tugged back. The year hung over me with a sense of doom.
When I look back, I am left confused. I do not know what to remember, what to forget, what to recollect. I know, I have figured – it must stop! You can’t keep your eyes behind you and walk forward.
And if I ever do look back, let me see these precious moments – my conversations with Yo the past year…
Let’s simply wrap ourselves in the love we have received, count our blessings and cheer forward to a new year…there are tons of new memories waiting to be created.
10 January · Yehoshua making excuses, “Mamma my chest is hurting.”
Uh why, what happened.
“Because my heart is breaking”
12 February · I wanted to surprise Yo. So I went to pick him at school today. As I walked up to his classroom, I could hear his excited voice, “Ma’am, my mamma has come today.” He jumped into my arms puffing with pride as he showed me off to his friends. May not be long before he stops acknowledging me, so for now I am basking in pleasure.
23 February · Yoshu throws his brush.
“I am angry with me.”
“The Yellow is mixing with Blue. I am never painting again”
4 March · “Mamma I gave my watch away.”
“Because I was bored of it.”
Who did you give it to?
“Rafein asked for it but I gave to Harit.”
“Because Harit was first and Rafein asked for it second.” This boy is definitely gonna be able to help me with sign ups at work!
20 March · What did you do in school yoshu?
“lots and lots of naughty things”
Oh dear! Like what?
“I scribbled on my friends book”
Why?! ” Mamma, Y is the letter for my name” … discussion over!
27 April · Yehoshua it’s not nice to behave like this. You are just not listening.
Yo, “Mamma I am trying to stop my naughtiness but I can’t. Can you please pray to God and tell him to help me stop my naughtiness? ”
2 May · “I am not happy.”
Why, what happened?
“I am not happy because I don’t have a pet.”
Ok what pet would you like?
16 May ·
“Here mama this paper has the instructions.”
Ok. So read it.
” I can’t. It’s too complicated”
did he just say complicated?!
13 June ·
Mamma when I grow up, I want to be ten things:
- Basketball player
- Football player
- Cricket player
- Super hero
- Fighter plane driver
- Power ranger. Hmmm…thats an elaborate plan!
27 June ·
Let’s get a telescope and then we can see all the planets from our balcony – Mars, Venus, Earth, Jupiter…
Yehoshua, “But we cant see Earth na…”
“…because we are standing on it.”
28 July 2014 · Through you, my child, life has taught me so much.
With you, my child, I have learnt to love, to laugh, to forget, to forgive, to question, to accept, to let go and to fight.
In you, my child, I find strength, I find joy, I find meaning. Happy fifth birthday Yehoshua…With you, I grow!
3 September ·
“Mama why are there two 8o’clocks?”
Ahem! Goodnight yoshu
6 September ·
“Mamma what are babelets…”
I don’t know yo!
“Bumblebee babelets mamma”
I don’t know yo
“Then google it!” Ok! Turns out they are beyblades
17 September ·
Guru yehoshua, “If you use your brain all day, it’ll become bad. So don’t think too much.”
30 September · “Mamma, I told you na the tooth fairy would come and give me a gold coin. You didn’t trust me na.” “Now I’ll always be good,” he declared – the fairy deserved it for her effort after all.
27 October ·
Do you know what an exam is yehoshua?
“Yes! An exam is where you write a lot and very nicely.”
That’s correct. How did you know that?
“Because I am very clever and intelligent!”
1 November · Overheard Yehoshua talking to my help, “Ondu janna, athukke kassu illa, amma illa, yaaru illa athu melle yaake neevu things aakide?” Apparently she placed his coin box on an ant.
8 November · “Why did god give us nights?
How do babies grow?
Why do we wash our hands with soap?
Why do germs make you sick?
Why do germs like to be alive?…”
It goes on at bedtime
11 November · So Yehoshua tells me today, “Pooja, the baby was grumpy when I saw her and then I made her smile. I am so intelligent!”
Me, faking disbelief, “is that so? How come?”
“See Pooja, my mother taught me well as a child.”
15 November · “Mamma, why is life boring?”
16 November · Yehoshua is making his own soup. Conversations along the way, “Do you know corns have their own babies…they’re called baby corn.”
“And how long do we have to mix it, till you die?”
23 November · Yehoshua why do you not remember to give your homelink to your teacher, ever?!
Yo, “Mamma because I have a very sharp memory of forgetting!”
Yup that explains it!
27 December ·
Mamma can you play with me.”
I can’t yo, I am watching the baby.
“But i need a girl to play in my team.”
“How old are you?”
“But i need a 31 year old big girl to play with me.”
Ask Aie ma. She’s also the same age.
“But i need a 31 year old big girl who is not a dentist to play in my team.”
Fine then…there is no winning this argument!